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“Assault on the Princess”

S2 E3

Production 45425
Original Airdate: 6 October 1976
Lucky Harrison and Grover welcome guests aboard the Princess Louise
Produced by
Kenneth Johnson
Written by
Wilton Denmark
Directed by
Alan Crosland
Guest Cast
Guest Star(s)
Ed Nelson as Lucky Harrison
Vito Scotti as Romero
John Durren as Grover
Steve Kanaly as Tanner
Dick Dinman as Ice Man
Tony Giorgio as Creighton
Ron Wilson as Joe
Abraham Alvarez as Lieutenant
Don Maxwell as Crewman
Broadcast Order
Season 2
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"In This Corner, Jaime Sommers" "Road to Nashville"
Related episodes
• indirect sequel to "Fly Jaime"

Jaime Sommers poses as a blackjack dealer aboard a luxurious sea-going casino in order to locate two missing energy cells that can be used as bombs.


Oscar attempts to sneak Jaime aboard the gambling ship Princess Louise by staging a police chase in Puerto de San Raton.  As part of her cover, Jaime pretends to be fleeing the police.  She hopes that the crew will be distracted by the police chase and allow her a hasty entrance on board the ship.  Although she is denied boarding, Jaime uses the police distraction as an opportunity to jump aboard bionically! 

Coming quickly to the attention of captain "Lucky" Harrison, Jaime becomes a dealer in his on-board casino, where she soon attracts just the kind of attention she doesn't want, in the form of Vito Scotti's persistently amorous Romero from Season One's "Fly, Jaime" episode.  With the two most "dangerous" men aboard after her, Jaime almost forgets that "The Iceman" is still determined to blow up the ship with two prototype energy cell weapons if his plans to rendezvous with a mysterious sub are discovered.  After several tries to sideline her fail, Jaime is at last able to spot "The Iceman," and thwart him with the help of her two smitten followers, allowing Oscar to pry the frozen batteries which must not warm up out of Romero's hands and put the Iceman on ice for good.



Jaime: Well is this the time when you give me twenty lashes and throw me in irons?
Lucky: Yeah, sure, if that's the sort of thing you're into. But it'd be just as easy for me to call a couple of my men and throw you overboard.
Jaime: You'd better get more than a couple, I can handle myself pretty well.

Lucky: If my man would have thrown you overboard, 8-5 says you would've made it back ashore safely.
Jaime: With my skill and determination?
Lucky: No, I thought floating - on your inflated ego.

Lucky: (catches Jaime hovering over his safe) Can you get into a safe as easily as you board a ship?
Jaime: I was just... uh... admiring the workmanship.
Lucky: So was I.

Lucky: You're good. No, no... you're better than good. Listen, I can always use a new dealer here. What about it? I can always use one that's... distracting. You interested? How 'bout it, Miss Windsor?
Jaime: Well, it beats dog-paddling back to South America, Mister Harrison.

Creighton: Do you deal or shuffle the spots of the cards?

Romero: Coffee, tea or me?
Jaime: I beg your pardon?
Romero: May I fluff your pillow?
Creighton: How would you like to get your head fluffed?

Grover: Birds belong in the crowsnest, not in the wheelhouse.

Oscar: (on walkie talkie) Jaime, maybe I'd better get you off of there.
Jaime: (on receiver) Now Oscar, you know all us OSI agents always go down with our ships.
Oscar: That's not funny.

Jaime: Who is it?
Lucky: It's me.
Jaime: Well, come on in. (sarcastically) It's your boat - you must have the keys.
Lucky: Listen, I'm sorry about the lock. I... uh... just wanted to make sure you were here when I got here - that's all.

Romero: Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make: we have a little problem, but , eh, really there's nothing to be alarmed about. Eh, on board, eh, we have a bomb that's gonna go off any minute. (the other passengers laugh at him) You will follow my instructions. Women (kisses a lady's hand) and children first. (more laughter and louder) Yes, no children. Disregard my first order.

Jaime: I need your help, but it might be dangerous.
Romero: I don't even know the meaning of the word.

Romero: Your command is my wish, huh, my capitain.

Jaime: Well? What happened to the "Ice Man?"
Oscar: Oh, he's safe. I put him in the... uh... cooler.


  • Actor Vito Scotti returns to reprise his role as Romero from the first season episode "Fly Jaime".
  • In "Fly Jaime", Jaime uses the undercover name of Miss Winters. In this episode, she uses the undercover name of Jaime Windsor.
  • One of the few occasions in the first two seasons in which Jaime is seen in a romantic situation with someone other than Steve Austin.
  • Lucky is shown wearing an earring in the latter part of the episode. While not unusual today, it was uncommon in the mid-1970s to show men wearing earrings on TV.
  • As noted in "Gaffes" below, Jaime for some reason weeps at the end of the mission, despite her not doing so on other occasions. It's possible this may be a reference to the long-running spy comic strip Modesty Blaise which often ended with the heroine weeping from relief after a dangerous mission; the plotline of the episode (going undercover in a casino, and even having to deal with a lovesick individual encountered on a previous mission) strongly reflects the type of storyline featured in the comic strip.
  • After 2 episodes using the tail credits theme from "The Return of Bigfoot (Part II)" by Joe Harnell, this episode would revert to the Jerry Fielding theme used in the first season, the only time Fielding's music would run under the tail credits this year. Harnell would provide a new version of his theme for the tail credits in the following episode, "Road to Nashville."
  • The Love Boat, another ABC television show in the 1970's, took place on a cruise ship named the Pacific Princess.  One of the recurring characters was named Gopher, though he was certainly not as corrupt as Grover in this episode.  Bionic Woman was the first of the two shows on ABC to feature a cruise ship named Princess.  This episode aired on Oct. 6, 1976.  The Love Boat premiered on Sept. 24, 1977.


  • Near the beginning, when the Princess Louise is shown at port and then leaving port, there are three separate ships used. The windows and fore deck are all different.
  • As Jaime is put into Stateroom #8, the door lock is to the left of the door knob. When the lock is seen in closeup, as Grover is locking it with the key, the lock is directly above the door knob. Also, the door knob is alternately white or brass.
  • When Jaime follows Grover in an attempt to find out who the Ice Man is, he is seen wearing his dress whites. However, after Romero interrupts her, Grover is shown wearing his duty whites. He is then seen on the bridge in his dress whites again.
Out of character[]
  • Considering all the high-stress missions she has been on to date, why does Jaime break down in tears after sinking the Ice Man's lifeboat? She didn't even hurt the men (which would at least have been consistent with her in the previous episode stating concern about not wanting to people).
  • Jaime's ear fails her again. She fails to hear the Ice Man and Grover enter her stateroom while she is talking to Oscar on the radio, which is ironic as she uses her ear to eavesdrop quite frequently in this episode, otherwise.
  • At the climax, surely getting the bomb to the freezer would be the top priority at this point, rather than giving it to Romero (who's clearly incompetent).
  • As Grover leaves the bridge, Jaime, who has been concealed up to this point, breaks cover to find another place to hide. But in doing so not only does she come surprisingly close to where Grover is exiting, in real life she likely would have been seen by Grover's peripheral vision, but he appears not to notice her.
Illusion Breaker[]
  • When Jaime Sommers puts the rudder back into place, Lindsay Wagner accidentally uses her left hand.
  • When Jaime is talking with Lucky in his cabin and he has a glass in his left hand, we can see for a very short time a microphone from the top of the screen.
  • On several occasions the bionics sound effect kicks in before Jaime begins doing anything bionic.